Welcome Baby Charlie!

Hi everyone!  It has been quite a while since I've written, but I wanted to take some time and update you all on our newest addition!  Little Charles Joseph was born on November 2 at 12:31am, 31 minutes into his daddy's birthday.  We are absolutely loving having him, though there certainly are some challenges and adjustments that we are working through.  Here is a summary of Charlie's story so far!

Charlie's Birth Story

Little Charlie came into the world at 41 weeks and 4 days-- 11 days past his due date!  Our OB, Dr. Barrios, was great working with us on a birth plan before hand (I wanted an all-natural, unmedicated birth), but she made it clear that if Charlie didn't come before 42 weeks, I would be induced.  For personal reasons, I really didn't want that to happen (though if it had come to that, I would have made peace with it), and was pretty stressed out about the possibility of facing an induction.  We had an ultrasound at 41 weeks and Charlie was doing great, so we got the OK to see if he would come on his own.  We scheduled an induction for Monday, Nov. 2 at midnight (41 weeks 5 days) just in case he decided he didn't want to come.  Mike and I did everything we could think of: spicy Thai food, spicy Mexican food, 4am and 11pm walks (and some in between), bouncing on the birth ball-- you name it, we tried it.  Nothing was getting this kid out!

My contractions started on Saturday, Oct. 31 at about 4am.  I woke up to them, and they were about 6-7 minutes apart.  Some were strong-- I had to really stop and breathe through them.  I hopped in the shower, even taking the time to blow dry my hair!  By the time I woke Mike up and we had breakfast, the contractions had spaced out.  By later in the day, they had almost completely disappeared.  I was disappointed, but I figured it was just false labor and maybe the next day would be THE day.

Flash forward to Sunday, I spent the night waking up every 15-20 minutes with the most awful back pain.  I would wake up, think how awful it felt, and go back to sleep.  Then, the same thing happened-- contractions came back around 5am.  I woke up, woke Mike up (this had to be it!). They were strong and again, about 7 minutes apart.  By the time we got ready, again, they had spaced out.  I was still feeling the back pain, but we went for a walk around the neighborhood to try and get the contractions to come back.  Frustrated and stir crazy, we decided to go to Target to grocery shop.  We had been trapped in the house for a few days thinking for SURE that day would be the day, and we both needed to get out.  I kept having contractions as we were walking through the store (being in public during any kind of labor--fake or not--is so not fun, I assure you.  I remember standing in a bathroom stall silent screaming).

By the time we got home, the contractions were still coming, mostly in my back.  They were super irregular though-- anywhere between 5 and 8 minutes-- so, still not the real thing (they tell you to go into the hospital when they're 5 minutes apart, 1 minute long for 1 hour).  By now, I was getting pretty frustrated and emotional, and was in quite a lot of pain.  I knew I was having back pain, but I thought maybe I was having gas pain too, so I called the on-call OB to ask if I could take a medication.  She told me that maybe I was in labor, and I should come in to be checked.

I called our doula, Rene, who asked me a good question: if I went into the hospital, being 41 weeks 3 days, and they said I needed to be induced right then, would I be OK?  I really wanted to have the option for my body to do this naturally, so I didn't really want to go in.  Mike really wanted to go in, have everything checked out, and make sure everyone was ok.  So we said bye to Dora, met Rene at the hospital and went up to get checked out.

As we were walking to L&D, my contractions started getting a lot stronger and a lot closer together.  They definitely weren't 8 minutes apart anymore!  When the nurse checked me, I was at 6cm, 80-90% effaced and -1 station (on just the Thursday before, I was 1cm, 70% effaced, -2 station).  I remember saying to the nurse, "if I knew you better, I'd slap your shoulder!"  I couldn't believe that we would be staying to have our baby.  I thought for sure we'd go in, get checked out, and either be pushed for an induction right then or go home and wait it out until the next day.  But, we were admitted at 4:30pm.

My contractions revved up really quickly from there.  However, they were all in my back.  The back pain was so excruciating that I actually couldn't even feel the contractions in the front. Every contraction felt like my back was splitting in half.  We went through a lot of hassle to have a tub in the room (we were the first ones to have the tub at BRGeneral), and when they finally got me in it, I absolutely hated it.  I don't think I made it more than 5 minutes in there.  I hated every labor position we tried except for just lying on the bed on my side.  Rene and Mike took turns rubbing my back (with every contraction I would yell, "rub my back!" or "my back, my back") and feeding me cranberry juice (oh yeah, since we didn't think we were in real labor, we hadn't eaten anything since lunch).

During this time, it occurred to me that overnight between Saturday and Sunday, Charlie had moved.  He was still head down, but he was what they call OP.  When a baby is posterior, he's turned the wrong way-- his head was pushing into my lower back.  He had been in the right position all up to that point, but when he turned, that's why I was having all the back pain.  To say it's excruciating doesn't do it justice.  I know if it weren't for Rene and Mike constantly rubbing my back, I wouldn't have made it through.  So many times I wanted to stop, and their encouragement kept me going.

After about 6 hours, I was fully dilated and ready to push.  I don't know what it's like to push a baby in the right position from the get-go, but pushing out a posterior baby was absolute torture.  I remember reading some birth stories where women talked about enjoying pushing more than labor, or at least welcoming the change in task.  When it came time for me to push, I thought-- maybe this will be better!  Absolutely not.  Every single push felt like my back was tearing, and getting comfortable-- or even having any remote sense of comfort-- was absolutely not possible.

Finally, after about an hour of pushing, Charlie FINALLY flipped.  What a difference!  I could finally feel contractions in my front and all of my back pain disappeared instantly.  However, by this point, I was so tired that I didn't know if I could finish it.  All the while, the team of nurses, Rene, Mike and Dr. Barrios provided nothing but support and in those "I can't do this" moments (of which I had quite a few), they looked deep into my eyes and reassured me that I could do this.  I was doing this.

Finally, we decided that pushing on my back might be the best way to give me a break.  As soon as I was on my back, it was game on!  I pushed for probably about 45 minutes in this position with a sweet nurse helping guide me to when I was having contractions (I was so tired I ended up pushing even when I wasn't having contractions, so having the help was so necessary).  When he finally got low, I literally felt like I was bursting open.  Those final few pushes were completely surreal feeling-- a total, all-encompassing feeling of ripping open from the inside out.  I remember the burning when his head came out, went back in, and finally came back out (though burning again, is not adequate to describe the pain), and the amazing relief when Charlie finally came out.  They put my sweet boy on my chest at 12:31.  I don't remember feeling much else other than awe at that sweet little life making his entrance, and being surprised when they told me the placenta was coming out.  I did tear, and though Mike tells me I flinched as the doctor stitched me, I don't remember feeling anything (though she did use numbing gel).  My body went into shock and I shook uncontrollably, but that didn't last very long.  I had my baby on my chest, my sweet husband next to me, and met my goal of having a completely unmedicated, natural birth.

I don't know what it's like to give birth to an anterior baby (the correct position), but I do know that the labor and delivery of our little guy was the most pain I have ever felt.  It was the most encompassing, total body experience I have ever had.  Some say birth is mental-- for me, my mind was chaos: there was no calm.  But that night, I wasn't groggy whatsoever, I could walk, I can remember.  I wouldn't have done it any other way (OK, if I could do it with Charlie in the OA position I would).  To remember and be fully present in every moment of bringing our sweet baby into the world, to be able to connect with him and Mike under no influence of drugs or pain medication, is truly a gift that I absolutely cherish.

Since Then
We came home from the hospital on Wednesday last week.  I would say that nursing has been our greatest struggle.  Charlie wasn't interested in eating right after he was born, and really wasn't super interested the next day either (he slept a LOT that first day-- after all, he was in labor for almost 2 days, too).  I struggled with feeling comfortable holding him and in getting him to latch, especially on the right side.  Last weekend, I got super engorged (my body went into super milk production) and by the time I realized, we had spent a few hectic days struggling.  Even today, as my breasts are finally starting to stabilize, we are still struggling.  Some feedings are great, some it takes 30-40 latches (wish I were exaggerating) for one successful one.  But we are working together and trying our best to get there.

Charlie had his first pediatrician appointment last Monday, and while most babies lose some of their birth weight in their first week, our sweet boy gained over 4oz!  He also grew and inch and a half during that first week (he was born 19 inches, and measured 20.5 one week later).  The pediatrician was so impressed, especially given our difficulties, and I have found much encouragement in the fact that I know he's doing well, even if it feels like an endless struggle (and with constant support from friends and family).

He is sleeping very well-- he usually goes to bed around 11pm and wakes up around 5 or 6am!  It's absolutely amazing, and he has been doing this since before we even got home, but it has taken some adjusting as I have needed to wake up at 4am and pump. Our freezer is starting to get stocked up, which is definitely the silver lining in this.

Other than that, he is such a happy and content baby.  When he cries, it's for a reason.  When he's awake, he's super alert and interested in what's going on (the past two days he's been obsessed with staring at the ceiling fans).  And though we have been struggling with feeding, which has included many tears from us both, feeling him holding my hand while I'm nursing him or having him curl up on my shoulder after a successful feeding makes it all worth it.  And to know that I am feeding my baby and sustaining him using my body is incredible.  I hope in time that these struggles will diminish, but we have made outstanding progress since the hospital and we are slowly learning together!

Mike and I are adjusting well, as is Dora.  Dora still hasn't gotten too close to him, and when he moves, she jumps sometimes!  But she seems to be fine having him around-- better a little uninterested than the alternative!  Mike went back to work for a few full days this week and Charlie and I hung in pretty well.  So everyone is doing well, and that keeps us happy!

I am happy to share our story with you, and I hope that you have enjoyed hearing about our experiences.  I will try to do more updates here as I have time and think of it.  :)